What Alice Forgot

This book was a going-away gift from my friend, Marzena, who lives in Brooklyn, NY. She shared this book with me to read during the flight to WA. However, I didn't get to read it during the flight. I was too tired. I forgot about this book all along while I was busy and tired during moving and settling down. When I finally start reading books again, I found this book in my bookshelf. I forgot about it completely that I even wondered where I got it from! And I remembered after a while that there couldn't be that many moments of receiving a book as a gift!

I don't know how Marzena picks her books but, my goodness, both books from her hooked me from the first page! Those books also pulled out my thoughts and emotions that I forgot about and plugged them back into my mind. Such interesting and entertaining books and, at the same time, deep and thought-provoking stories.

This story starts with the main character, Alice, waking up with a bump on her head and no memories of her last ten years. Her last memory was of her being pregnant with her first daughter, and then she found herself with 3 kids and going through divorce with her dear husband. She was so confused and desperate. She now has a date and she lives in a fancy house that they bought and renovated slowly with her husband throughout a few years after they purchased it. She is super fit and very social and active, not like how she was 10 years ago. She somehow lost her relationship with her best friend and her sister. And she had a new best friend and lost her recently to an accident in front of her eyes, which she doesn't have any memory of.

Throughout the book, while she is living with feelings and emotions from 10 years ago, her body responds better than her mind interestingly. She naturally drives her car around even though she doesn't remember how to drive nor where to drive to. Her heart thumps or reacts out of nowhere on a certain place or certain situations. Weirdly, a snappy inner voice pops up here and there that she doesn't recognize. Through those experiences, she starts to remember things slowly.

I was so curious about what Alice forgot really. I couldn't wait to know. I couldn't let the book down. I was holding myself searching online the ending. Alice kept talking about beautiful memories that she remembers while she is going through 10 years of herself that she doesn't recognize. When Alice remembered everything in the middle of a big event that she planned before she lost her memory, she got all her feelings and emotions back. Why she is going through divorce with her dear husband and what happened during the last 10 years. However, what Alice really forgot about the last 10 years was how much she loves her husband and her family. How much she cared about them. And the way she felt those emotions toward them and the way she responded to those feelings made their family members to remember the love they had for each other and how beautiful and precious is what they have now.

Interestingly, our marriage just passed 10 years. We also had ups and downs like normal couples. I used to talk about the 7-year itch during my highschool years with my friends while we were talking about our teachers' marriage. We were imagining our future. I always look out for any signs of that during our marriage, and do my best to prevent that. I'm blessed to have a husband who is always loyal and loving. I'm pretty sure he personally had quite a bit of difficulties to cope with my bad tempers and my imperfections. We went through even tougher times after having our first child. I hit my bottom several times while raising her. I faced challenges in our marriage.

Honestly, I can't claim we all went over it. I would rather say we are still going through phases and we may hit another bottom that we didn't think exists. I don't know how my husband went through those bottoms we had, but the way I went through them was dreaming my future in a relationship somehow similar to my in-laws: I'm so grateful to have such a loving example right in front of me. It's a true blessing. And I want my husband to be still next to me in my future. This makes me feel emotional. This refreshes my feelings and love towards him of how much I love him and care about him. How will it break my heart if I see his feelings gets hurt. I think this imagination and dreaming saved our marriage several times.

I can't believe how forgetful I'm in the midst of all I have on my presence. I forget these moments of my kids being with me like now won't last much. Perhaps 2 years? They will grow up and will not need or want moments like these anymore. But I forget and get so overloaded and upset at them easily.

I feel like all about changing from one perspective to the other. You have to see each tree but you have to also see the forest and beyond. It's so easy to focus on a spot and forget that there are other things to see.

I didn't expect to think about all these while I'm reading the book. It was great to refresh my memories from 10 years ago with my husband and myself. How young, fun, passionate we were. It gave me a good time.